Hi guys, I know no ones reading this yet but maybe someday someone will.
I know this isn't the nicest blog to start a new blog off with but I need to get it off my chest. I was feeling pretty good about myself today. I helped talk a really lovely girl out of something very bad and I was just feeling pretty good about myself. Then I started talking to my mam about something. Now I know I'll sound crazy but I'm a very sensitive person, in the fact that I can sense things. Things that most people wouldn't. Anyway, more on that a different day.
I had some news confirmed for me today. I should have had a younger sister. She would have been 12 this month. I was 4 when we lost her. I was never told but I always knew I was meant to be an older sister. A lot of the younger girls on my old road now see me as an older sister and a role model of sorts and perhaps I have my little angel to thank for that now. I always wanted a younger sister that I could help, that I could teach, that I could tell her not to make the mistakes that I do. I could help her with her hair, her make up, beat up bullies for her, hold her while she cried, been the reason she laughed. Be a big sister. I feel slightly cheated of that chance and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm so upset, but I saw it coming. I always knew she was there. I used to have an imaginary friend when I was small and for all I know it could have been her, I can still remember so vividly how she looked to me... A small piece of my heart is crying out to me right to hold her, and comfort her and help her but alas, I can't.. Maybe someday all my questions will be answered.
Until then though, I'll just have to be the change I want to see in the world.

Today I want to be *glitter*.

Night y'all,
               Bear <3